Golf Practice at the Driving Range

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This past weekend my husband and I spent Saturday afternoon at the driving range, working on our respective golf games…okay he worked on his golf game, while I, on the other hand, people watched. I tried to keep my mind focused on my swing, stance, and not moving my head, honest to goodness I did, but gosh darn it if the folks practicing next to me weren’t the oddest pair I’ve seen at the driving range in a loooooong time.

Usually when people go to the driving range, they tend to wear clothes that look kind of “golferish” (golf shirt, T-shirt, shorts, long pants). Not that the clothes matter, because they don’t, but it does help to wear clothing that doesn’t bind up and interfere with swing movements, thus the loose fitting shirt and pants. One of the first things I noticed about this couple was the man’s tight fitting, and rather short, cut-off jeans. As if the jeans weren’t interesting enough, he also wore a shirt with cut-off sleeves.

Truthfully, the clothing alone wasn’t a big deal. What started my mind wondering was his golf gear. Be honest, based on the description I just gave you, what kind of equipment would you have expected the man to have? Did a ratty golf bag come to mind? Maybe some mismatched golf clubs? Buzzzzz…wrong! This dude had some serious golf gear. I’m talkin’ new Titleist clubs (I’m pretty sure his fairway woods and irons were all Titleist), and a nice Adams golf bag (black with red trim).

And his wife was decked out with cool gear too—great looking Callaway clubs with an adorable baby blue golf bag. So then my mind really started spinning. The Sesame Street song, “One of These Things Doesn’t Belong Here” played in surround sound inside my head. I kept thinking, either these guys really have game or they know how to pick equipment that looks the part. Needless to say, I had to—HAD TO—see them hit the ball. There was no cotton-pickin’ way I was leaving that driving range without seeing for myself.

Rather than look like a gawker, I tried my best to focus on my own game—yeah right. Sadly, I couldn’t hit a decent shot to save my nosey life. So, back to the couple my eyes roved as I peeked here and there, trying not to look too obvious. The man was, um well…how should I say it? He was um hummmm really…uh…not very good—let’s just put it that way. His wife, on the other hand, had the most bizarre swing I had ever seen, but somehow she managed to hit the ball pretty straight and consistent.

With that added twist, my mind worked feverishly, trying to make what I was seeing compute. When nothing added up, I had no choice but to add eavesdropping to my list of the day’s bad behavior. I was shocked—stupefied—to listen to the man giving instructions to his wife. Moreover, she actually appeared to be listening for crying out loud! I was stumped by the whole display.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any stranger, the woman pulled out her driver and guess what? Darn if she didn’t smack the ball a good 200 yards. Two hundred cotton pickin’ yards!!! Goooood gravy, I’ve never seen anything like it. Unbelievable! What a great day at the driving range.



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8 Responses

  1. How fun to eavesdrop 😀 The clubs must have been a Christmas gift from someone who knew what they were doing. LOL!

  2. Okay. You actually DID THIS with your husband. DO NOT let my husband know.

    The golf bug is worse than ever around Normal this year.

    And if you write a golf novel, I really, really don’t think I can buy it–even from you!!!

  3. Georgiana, I think you might be on to something. LOL

  4. No worries, Patti. I won’t be writing any golf novels–I promise. LOL

  5. Great story, Sharon! Reminded me of my days playing golf when I was in high school. One day Jim and I want to pick golf back up.

  6. Mary, the wonderful thing about golf is that my hubby and I can play together. I’m sure you and Jim will have a blast once you start playing again.

  7. Thanks for a good laugh! You did such a great job describing this couple.

    Susan 🙂

  8. Thanks, Susan. I love people watching, and boy this couple sure did captivate me. 🙂

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