Embarrassing Typos

I have to wonder about the person who put the letters on this sign. The optimist in me wants to believe this is a legitimate typo—a mere misspelling of the word “stuffed”. But what if this isn’t a typo? What if the person who created this sign actually thought the word “stuffed” was spelled this way? Scary thought, isn’t it?

The sad truth is that I have experienced situations where a cashier was completely incapable of making change without the use of the cash register. And don’t get me started on simple math. I’ve had shopping situations that required the person behind the counter to mentally count numbers or figure basic percentages, and sadly many people—some were adults—were not able to perform this basic function. How sad is that? I’m no math wizard by any stretch of the imagination, but come on…basic math. I’m talking adding and subtracting, not calculus or trigonometry.

So how can we fix this? Not that I’m a fan of blame, because I’m not, but who is responsible for making sure situations like these don’t happen very often?

What are your thoughts?


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Things That Make You Go Hmmm…

I was at the grocery store today and marveled, once again, at a familiar scene. I was wheeling my cart down the aisle when I noticed a woman standing next to the jars of spaghetti sauce, reading the label on a product in her hand. As I approached, we made eye contact briefly, and then she went back to reading the label. So far so good, right? Well…as I grew even closer, I realized her cart blocked half the aisle, and she stood a foot or so away from the cart, which meant no one could pass without either the cart or her body moving out of the way.

I saw her sideways glance in my direction when my cart reached hers, but still she didn’t budge. Hummm… Even though I knew she had seen me, I still said, “Excuse me,” and smiled politely (sorta, kinda politely). Now here is where it gets interesting. She looked up from the jar in her hand, touched her chest as if I had just surprised the snot out of her, and she truly appeared to be surprised. Hum….Either this woman was an amazing actress, or she was one egg short of a dozen—you know what I mean? How could she not have seen me when we made eye contact? Did she really think I just magically appeared out of thin air? Even if she didn’t see me, she mostly would have heard me. My rickety cart was clinkin’ and clankin’ something fierce.

And how about people doing crazy (this is my nice way of saying stupid) things while driving? Granted, I’ve been known to do a stupid thing or two in my day, but at least I rarely do them all at the same time! A few days ago, traffic was congested on the express way, but then it finally opened up as I approached my exit. After it opened up, I was cruising along when a woman in a red little beater pulled in front of me. From where I sat, it looked like she was brushing her hair with one hand, and applying lip gloss with the other. Had she not have pulled in front of me and then decided to break for no apparent reason, I wouldn’t have noticed what she was doing. Why do people do that? If there had been a car in front of her that would have been one thing. But clearly, there was no one in front of her. No, this woman simply decided to ride her break all the way down the expressway. Hum…

Come on, people, I can’t be the only one who sees this stuff. What kind of crazy behavior have you witnessed lately?

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How to Walk in High Heels

Okay, this topic may seem unusual, but now that I’m back in the workforce I’ve started wearing high heels again. While surfing the internet, looking for cute shoes, I found this video and got such a kick out of it. I’ve seen women wearing 6 inch heels and I’ve often wondered how they are able to walk in them. Well, this video explains the secret.



What’s the highest heel you have ever worn?



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Don’t Be a Litter Bug

As many of you may know, I have a little Yorkie that joined our family about a year ago. Every morning, and many evenings, I enjoy walking her and find the exercise helps me to either prepare for my day, or unwind if I’ve just gotten home from work. About a year ago, I started noticing more and more litter strewn on the sidewalks, but one kind of litter bug has me absolutely perplexed.

At any given time, there are at least two or three doggie bags of waste that someone has carelessly left in the grass lining the sidewalk. What I don’t get is…why? I can see by the doggie bags (some are green and some are dark brown), that the person was thoughtful enough to collect their dog’s waste, but rather than dispose of the bag appropriately, they chose to simply leave the bag of waste right there next to the sidewalk. I don’t get it. If the litter bug collected the waste, why not throw the bag in the trash? If they would rather not toss the bag in the trash then it’s better for the environment if they don’t clean up after the dog and let nature take its course. At least the waste will break down and quickly go away, whereas plastic will stay there forever. Am I missing something? Does that make sense to you?



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Sharon’s Top 5 Personal Quirks

A few days ago I was doing one of my many quirky things and realized that sometimes I’m inconvenienced by my own personal quirks, and yet they are ever present. As a writer, one thing we develop the skill to do is give our characters a few quirks so that they’re three dimensional and interesting. One day, I wouldn’t be surprised to read a book by one of my writer buddies and discover my friend has given her character one of my quirks. If and when this ever happens, I won’t be bothered. I say…embrace your quirks. Let’s face it—our quirky ways are a big part of what makes us unique and individual. Your quirks are a part of who you are as a person. If you love yourself, and I hope you do, then that means loving the quirks that are a part of you, even the ones that you find inconvenient and bothersome.

So for all of us quirky people out there, I share this list of my personal top-five quirks.

1. I love pretty paper. On the surface, this quirk may sound quite normal, but the part that makes me odd is the lengths I will go through to have pretty paper for ordinary things. Take notes, for example. I absolutely have to have pretty paper (colorful, good quality, sometimes special ordered) for even mundane things like scratch paper—scratch paper for crying out loud. But hey, that’s just how I am.

2. I always, always, always, am on the lookout for new products. It’s rare that I’ll use the same shower gel, body wash, lotion, etc. for years and years because I have this intense need to always be trying new things. I could have a product that I absolutely love, have no problem with whatsoever, but I’ll still have to try the next new thing that catches my eye. Marketing people have figured out people like me and they design packaging to appeal to—you got it—people like me.

3. Along the same line as number one, I love pens. I have some that are ridiculously expensive, and some that are dirt cheap, but I continue to hunt for pens that write just the way I like them to. I can’t stand writing with skinny pens because they hurt my fingers after awhile, and I prefer a pen with a little weight when I hold it. Go figure…

4. All the clothes in my closet have to be hanging on the hangers so that the front of the garment faces me when I’m standing in front of the rack. It doesn’t matter if the article of clothing is in the back of my closet or the front; it still has to be facing a certain way. Even if I’m running late for work, I will still stop and hang the item properly, because I won’t be able to leave the house if I don’t.

5. And finally, the granddaddy of my compulsive behaviors…I have to have the label of an item facing toward me when it sits on a shelf in the kitchen or bathroom. I find myself turning jars and bottles so that the labels are facing me, even if it’s something I don’t use. I can’t help myself.

There you have it—my quirks revealed for all the world to see. Let me know I have some company here, share a quirk or two of your own. One quirk, that’s all I’m asking for—one teeny tiny quirk so I’ll know I’m not the only quirky one out there.



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Golf Practice at the Driving Range

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This past weekend my husband and I spent Saturday afternoon at the driving range, working on our respective golf games…okay he worked on his golf game, while I, on the other hand, people watched. I tried to keep my mind focused on my swing, stance, and not moving my head, honest to goodness I did, but gosh darn it if the folks practicing next to me weren’t the oddest pair I’ve seen at the driving range in a loooooong time.

Usually when people go to the driving range, they tend to wear clothes that look kind of “golferish” (golf shirt, T-shirt, shorts, long pants). Not that the clothes matter, because they don’t, but it does help to wear clothing that doesn’t bind up and interfere with swing movements, thus the loose fitting shirt and pants. One of the first things I noticed about this couple was the man’s tight fitting, and rather short, cut-off jeans. As if the jeans weren’t interesting enough, he also wore a shirt with cut-off sleeves.

Truthfully, the clothing alone wasn’t a big deal. What started my mind wondering was his golf gear. Be honest, based on the description I just gave you, what kind of equipment would you have expected the man to have? Did a ratty golf bag come to mind? Maybe some mismatched golf clubs? Buzzzzz…wrong! This dude had some serious golf gear. I’m talkin’ new Titleist clubs (I’m pretty sure his fairway woods and irons were all Titleist), and a nice Adams golf bag (black with red trim).

And his wife was decked out with cool gear too—great looking Callaway clubs with an adorable baby blue golf bag. So then my mind really started spinning. The Sesame Street song, “One of These Things Doesn’t Belong Here” played in surround sound inside my head. I kept thinking, either these guys really have game or they know how to pick equipment that looks the part. Needless to say, I had to—HAD TO—see them hit the ball. There was no cotton-pickin’ way I was leaving that driving range without seeing for myself.

Rather than look like a gawker, I tried my best to focus on my own game—yeah right. Sadly, I couldn’t hit a decent shot to save my nosey life. So, back to the couple my eyes roved as I peeked here and there, trying not to look too obvious. The man was, um well…how should I say it? He was um hummmm really…uh…not very good—let’s just put it that way. His wife, on the other hand, had the most bizarre swing I had ever seen, but somehow she managed to hit the ball pretty straight and consistent.

With that added twist, my mind worked feverishly, trying to make what I was seeing compute. When nothing added up, I had no choice but to add eavesdropping to my list of the day’s bad behavior. I was shocked—stupefied—to listen to the man giving instructions to his wife. Moreover, she actually appeared to be listening for crying out loud! I was stumped by the whole display.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any stranger, the woman pulled out her driver and guess what? Darn if she didn’t smack the ball a good 200 yards. Two hundred cotton pickin’ yards!!! Goooood gravy, I’ve never seen anything like it. Unbelievable! What a great day at the driving range.



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Security Patrol

Have you ever been sitting someplace and saw something so absurd that your mind actually focused in and considered the depth of the absurdity? I actually had this happen to me while I was sitting in the car waiting on my husband to return from the store. A roving security vehicle passed, and at first I barely noticed it. But then as I waited, it came back around again, and I noticed that the vehicle was in fact a golf cart. What threw me off was the heavy plastic tarp draped around the cart, making it appear larger than it was.

With nothing but time on my hands, I had to wonder about a few things. How was the golf cart supposed to stop someone speeding away in a car? The parking lot was huge—and free—so the person in the golf cart wasn’t a meter maid. I guess if someone were being accosted in the parking lot it might be possible for the patrolperson in the golf cart to chase down the attacker. But how often does a criminal try to escape on foot? And even if the attacker were on foot, would the security guard hear the commotion and have time to zoom over if they had to travel the length of a football field, which was about the size of the parking lot from one end to another.

See…this is what waiting can do to a person. Even now, I still don’t quite see how a golf cart patrolperson could chase down a criminal unless the patrolperson happened to be in the right place at the right time. Hum… Am I missing something?



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