Things That Make You Go Hmmm…

I was at the grocery store today and marveled, once again, at a familiar scene. I was wheeling my cart down the aisle when I noticed a woman standing next to the jars of spaghetti sauce, reading the label on a product in her hand. As I approached, we made eye contact briefly, and then she went back to reading the label. So far so good, right? Well…as I grew even closer, I realized her cart blocked half the aisle, and she stood a foot or so away from the cart, which meant no one could pass without either the cart or her body moving out of the way.

I saw her sideways glance in my direction when my cart reached hers, but still she didn’t budge. Hummm… Even though I knew she had seen me, I still said, “Excuse me,” and smiled politely (sorta, kinda politely). Now here is where it gets interesting. She looked up from the jar in her hand, touched her chest as if I had just surprised the snot out of her, and she truly appeared to be surprised. Hum….Either this woman was an amazing actress, or she was one egg short of a dozen—you know what I mean? How could she not have seen me when we made eye contact? Did she really think I just magically appeared out of thin air? Even if she didn’t see me, she mostly would have heard me. My rickety cart was clinkin’ and clankin’ something fierce.

And how about people doing crazy (this is my nice way of saying stupid) things while driving? Granted, I’ve been known to do a stupid thing or two in my day, but at least I rarely do them all at the same time! A few days ago, traffic was congested on the express way, but then it finally opened up as I approached my exit. After it opened up, I was cruising along when a woman in a red little beater pulled in front of me. From where I sat, it looked like she was brushing her hair with one hand, and applying lip gloss with the other. Had she not have pulled in front of me and then decided to break for no apparent reason, I wouldn’t have noticed what she was doing. Why do people do that? If there had been a car in front of her that would have been one thing. But clearly, there was no one in front of her. No, this woman simply decided to ride her break all the way down the expressway. Hum…

Come on, people, I can’t be the only one who sees this stuff. What kind of crazy behavior have you witnessed lately?

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Golf Practice at the Driving Range

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This past weekend my husband and I spent Saturday afternoon at the driving range, working on our respective golf games…okay he worked on his golf game, while I, on the other hand, people watched. I tried to keep my mind focused on my swing, stance, and not moving my head, honest to goodness I did, but gosh darn it if the folks practicing next to me weren’t the oddest pair I’ve seen at the driving range in a loooooong time.

Usually when people go to the driving range, they tend to wear clothes that look kind of “golferish” (golf shirt, T-shirt, shorts, long pants). Not that the clothes matter, because they don’t, but it does help to wear clothing that doesn’t bind up and interfere with swing movements, thus the loose fitting shirt and pants. One of the first things I noticed about this couple was the man’s tight fitting, and rather short, cut-off jeans. As if the jeans weren’t interesting enough, he also wore a shirt with cut-off sleeves.

Truthfully, the clothing alone wasn’t a big deal. What started my mind wondering was his golf gear. Be honest, based on the description I just gave you, what kind of equipment would you have expected the man to have? Did a ratty golf bag come to mind? Maybe some mismatched golf clubs? Buzzzzz…wrong! This dude had some serious golf gear. I’m talkin’ new Titleist clubs (I’m pretty sure his fairway woods and irons were all Titleist), and a nice Adams golf bag (black with red trim).

And his wife was decked out with cool gear too—great looking Callaway clubs with an adorable baby blue golf bag. So then my mind really started spinning. The Sesame Street song, “One of These Things Doesn’t Belong Here” played in surround sound inside my head. I kept thinking, either these guys really have game or they know how to pick equipment that looks the part. Needless to say, I had to—HAD TO—see them hit the ball. There was no cotton-pickin’ way I was leaving that driving range without seeing for myself.

Rather than look like a gawker, I tried my best to focus on my own game—yeah right. Sadly, I couldn’t hit a decent shot to save my nosey life. So, back to the couple my eyes roved as I peeked here and there, trying not to look too obvious. The man was, um well…how should I say it? He was um hummmm really…uh…not very good—let’s just put it that way. His wife, on the other hand, had the most bizarre swing I had ever seen, but somehow she managed to hit the ball pretty straight and consistent.

With that added twist, my mind worked feverishly, trying to make what I was seeing compute. When nothing added up, I had no choice but to add eavesdropping to my list of the day’s bad behavior. I was shocked—stupefied—to listen to the man giving instructions to his wife. Moreover, she actually appeared to be listening for crying out loud! I was stumped by the whole display.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any stranger, the woman pulled out her driver and guess what? Darn if she didn’t smack the ball a good 200 yards. Two hundred cotton pickin’ yards!!! Goooood gravy, I’ve never seen anything like it. Unbelievable! What a great day at the driving range.



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Observations from a People Watcher

What’s the deal with the meteoric rise in women wearing stilettos? 



I was at the mall this past weekend and it seemed like stilettos were every where. All of the stores had unveiled their shoe line-ups for the spring and darn if stilettos and 4 inch wedge-heels weren’t everywhere. For the record, I don’t have anything against stilettos, except for the fact that they are hard on a woman’s foot. But that doesn’t seem to be stopping women from buying and wearing them.

We were at Piedmont Park here in our fair city of Atlanta, and as I people watched I was shocked by the number of women walking around wearing stilettos and jeans. I just don’t get it. I know we women love to look cute, and I really like that look, by the way, but wouldn’t gym shoes or casual shoes be more comfortable for a long walk in the park? And while we’re on the subject, how about women wearing stilettos at an amusement park? Seriously, what’s the point? You’re on your feet all day; why not wear comfortable shoes? 

I’d love to know your take on this. Is it just me?  


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